Resolution
by Crowmunculus
Summary: The person you're with at midnight on the New Year is supposed to be the person you're with for the rest of your life. RoyEd, not a happy story. Written for Taranova in a gift exchange.


**Title: Resolution  
Pairing: Roy/Ed  
Rating: T for Ed's speaking role and kissy faces  
Notes: Takes place sometime in the first animeverse; Ed is 16. Written for the lovely Taranova in a gift exchange - BLAME HER FOR THE DEPRESSING. Not a happy story. Unbetaed first draft still needs a lot of edits, especially in the pacing department :B  
**

**

* * *

**

.

The last night of the year in the hours when one day melts into the next and the thick black of the sky absorbs all sound, Ed was alone.

The open farmland on the far outskirts of Central stretched on for silent miles under the drape of night, the only light the distant stars glowing softly like dying coals against the edge of unraveling time, and the reflected lights of the city painted luminous gold on the scattered clouds. The air was cold and still.

And Ed was alone. Ten minutes to midnight he stretched out on the frozen ground and let the ice permeate his existence. Another year dying and he was no closer to fulfilling his promise to Al. Maybe they would both be trapped like this for the rest of their lives, slowly dying like this for the rest of their lives, until they faded away into nothingness in the final moments between one year and the next.

The planet turned.

Ed heard the footsteps behind him before he saw him. He recognized the not-so-stranger by his heartbeat, as familiar to him as his own. In the silence the sound was loud enough as to be blasphemous.

"What'd you go and follow me out here for, you bastard?" Ed spat; the words bitter on his tongue. Mustang's face came into view, looming over him. His expression was sad and that made Ed even angrier. "Fucking stalker."

"I knew I'd find you here," Mustang murmured. At nighttime his uniform blended in with the sky, made him look like he belonged up there. Belonged up there, and far away from Ed.

Mustang sat down next to him, crumpled slowly to the ground and folded in on himself. He held his knees to his chest and swayed slowly side to side. "I've been here with you before, remember, Ed?" He tilted his face toward the stars, breathed out a silvery ghost of mist against the milky way.

Something stirred uncomfortably in his chest at the use of his name. He wanted to tell the man, _Fuck off, I wanna be alone_, but the Colonel's eyes were wide and a little moist, words slurred together. Fragile. So instead he growled low and pissed, "Fucking hell, Colonel, you _reek_. How the fuck much did you drink?"

The wry responding smile wavered dangerously. "Don't know. Wasn't paying attention. It's New Year's Eve, Ed."

So very fragile.

"You're disgusting."

Mustang tipped his head down to look Ed in the eye, that wobbling smile still in place. Even his hair stank of alcohol. "Yeah." He reached one gloved hand out and gently stroked along the side of Ed's face. "I know." Ed resisted the temptation to slap his hand away and let him touch, surrendered.

Melancholy. That's what he felt in his veins, suffused into his skin like the December cold. He'd come out here to be alone and hate himself for a while, look up at the universe moving and really _hate_ himself. For all he was capable of, he was helpless against this, the planet turning and the stars burning and dying alone in solitude.

Al understood, always understood, didn't approve but he understood why his brother was so drawn to this place. Mustang wouldn't understand. He hadn't, the one time Ed tried to explain, tried to tell him all is one and one is all and somewhere out there no one knew his name. Roy didn't understand a lot of things.

He didn't love Roy anywhere near as much as Roy loved him and the poor bastard knew it. Al knew it too, but said nothing, because his disapproving silence was so much more painful than words could ever be.

One more year. Give it another year, maybe this one will be better.

He can't stop the years.

Ten seconds to midnight and Ed was alone. Roy leaned over and kissed him. He tasted stale and dead.

Nine. Eight. Seven.

"The person you're with at midnight on the New Year is supposed to be the person you're with for the rest of your life," Roy whispered hot against his lips. Ed closed his eyes; he couldn't stand to see Mustang's face.

Six. Five. Four.

_We shouldn't do this. I wish I'd never started this. It won't last._ But he couldn't say the words with Mustang's tongue in his mouth.

Three.

_I don't love you. I was just lonely._

Two.

_This isn't what I wanted._

One.

_I'm sorry._

Zero. Fireworks set off in Central, echoing in his head like artillery fire. Ed kept his eyes closed. They were probably beautiful.

"I love you," Mustang said, a little wounded, a little desperate, and the words died in Ed's throat.

"You're a bastard."


End file.
